How I Feel Right Now

If I quit this job, I pray to God it doesn't take me too long to find another. I know I need the funds to fund this thing I'm creating but I don't know how long I can take this. The place sucks the life out of me. I'm drained before I enter. I leave and don't want any contact with anyone. So it seems as if I've disappeared. Nah, I'm just exhausted. I smile because it's in my nature. A nice day becomes a holiday, man I need another day off because the weekends just aren't enough. They are filled with obligations and a whole lot of catching up on nothing. Sometimes my mind is everywhere and I need to sit back and gather myself. People asking me on my progress but don't realize the stress of it being just me. I mean I don't mind it but it just takes time and energy that sometimes I lack. It's hard to show excitement and I don't know why, but the music I listen to keeps me going. That's my boost and now my ipod wants to act up. I can only hear sounds coming from one side and have to find ways to adjust the headphones and believe me it bothers my soul to know that I really can't afford to buy a new ipod or mp3. The brakes on my 92 honda are almost gone, the muffler sounds terrible and I'm going to Barbados next month. I want to be happy but my grandmother took a small fall last week and I worry about her well being. I'm not complaining because life is good and good things are happening but this is just how I feel right now. I'm not sleeping like I should, not eating like I should, not drinking enough water which is probably the cause of these headaches and the heat is getting to me. I can't til the Fall. That beautiful Autumn, I turn 26 soon. September 22nd to be exact and I know I've done alot since I turned 25 and somehow I manage to feel like I haven't done enough. Pardon my rambling, but if you are reading this these are just my thoughts and how I truly feel. This is my outlet and now I can get back to the world we call "real".

This entry was posted on Tuesday, July 27, 2010. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response.

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